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Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Recipe Wednesday!

  Ah it's recipe Wednesday, and I'm actually here! It may be 8pm, but I'm here. This week has been an emotional cluster fuck. I've cried from sadness, anger, laughter, and hunger. (Just want to clarify the crying of the hunger variety was over a shamrock shake that I can't have.) I've felt really lost, and unsure of what's next. I've wanted to consume every carb in a 100 mile radius. I've also considered the consequences of intravenous liquor.
 It's been rough, to say the least.I know being this distraught over a chapter closing seems like an overreaction. I'm really good at over reactions, so I can honestly tell you this isn't. The depth of hurt that is inside me over Postpartum Progress shutting down is deep, and powerful. I have some seriously kick ass people in my life who have sent me a tremendous amount of love, and support. Today I am focusing onward.

  As some of you know, we've been eating a high fat, low carb diet. It's been truly awesome and I love the way it makes us feel- but tonight we threw that out the window. I truly believed that we deserved a bit of a treat. So here is tonight's recipe!

CHICKEN* NACHOS
**Might be chicken, might be pork

                            Image result for nacho gif
  Here is what you will need to get started:
1. A lack of willpower
2. Zero desire to cook, or do dishes
3. Mild self pity

How to get started:

Step one:  This is crucial to this recipe's success. Start by opening up your refrigerator. Stand there hopelessly for about 5 minutes, while making various frustration groans/whimpers. Make sure you open and close the fridge door at least 5 times.
Step Two: Aggressively close the fridge door and say "Fuck it!" Make sure it is loud, but not loud enough to where your neighbors get concerned.
Step Three: Spend 15 minutes searching for your keys, phone, shoes, purse, and socks for your toddler. The last task may include tantrums and the phrase "Home boy, where the hell are your shoes?!" This is optional, of course. If you can't find toddler feet covers just say fuck it, and forget about them. If it's that much of an issue put Ziploc bags on their feet.
Step Four: Attempt to leave the house and get in the car 2-7 times. The more you realize you forgot to grab something, the better.
Step Five: Strap toddler into car while they violently flail and scream"NO!"
Step Six: Leave garage, and hit garage button 400 times before it closes.
Step Seven: Drive to Qdoba, and circle the parking lot until a spot opens. While circling the parking lot, make sure to NOT hit stupid teenagers with vehicle. **Jail time is not needed for this recipe.**
Step Eight: Go inside with a shoeless, heathen of a child, wait in line behind the high schoolers from the parking lot. Make sure you listen to how stupid their conversations are, to make your self more confident in your life choices thus far.
Step Nine: Order your nachos, with chicken. Watch the girl behind the counter put pork on there and say nothing.
Step Ten: Pay for your order, and get the fuck out of there as fast as humanly possible. Another crucial step. Get in your car and repeat step five. Attempt to back out of your parking spot 3 times, while Marsha** and her 10 freaking kids walk across the parking lot in the most INCONSIDERATE way known to man. Say "This isn't a career people!" like 4 times. ***Marsha was probably not this woman's name, I bet it was Brenda.
Step Eleven: Finally get out of the parking lot, make the 15 minute drive home and enjoy your soggy pork nachos. Image result for nacho gif
  If you test this recipe out let me know!
  Twitter: Raisingtater
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  Facebook: Raising Taters


Here are some more nacho gifs:
Image result for nacho gifImage result for nacho gif
Annddddd Jack Black.

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S is a snarky Mom, with a lot to say. This blog covers every thing from an abundant amount of vomit, to things that are just too sticky. You'll find recipes, laughs, and honesty. With a toddler, a dog, and a really patient husband this Mama can accomplish things.