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Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Modern Feminism, and it's failure to the stay at home Mom.


                             Image result for prized heifer
                             ( a prize heifer because I think I'm funny.)
  I don't get political often, and when I do I try really hard not to offend others. Today I'm getting political. I want to talk about modern feminists and being a stay at home Mom. I am all for true feminism which is defined as :the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. 

 I believe that all women should be equal in every way, but for some reason modern feminists aren't searching for equality but superiority. This is NOT all feminists, just a select bunch who are willing to burn down men, and any women who doesn't agree with them. They are not true feminists. I am a stay at home Mom, a wife, and partner in my marriage. We do statically gender role things in our marriage and I am sick of being belittled for it. 
 Yep, I do the laundry, dishes, and keep the house clean. I do the shopping, cooking, and "child rearing" solo for 10 hours a day, four days a week. My husband is the sole provider for our household. He makes the money, I just spend it at Target. The way we run our household works for us. I know my husband is more than capable of doing these things, but this is how I contribute. 
  I've learned that I shouldn't tell people without kids (especially women) that I am a stay at home Mom. If I do tell people it sometimes comes with acceptance, or this complete look of betrayel. I've had someone say to me;
           "Do you realize how far you are setting back women?"
           "I'm sad you are wasting your worth/education/dreams."
           "That's really disappointing."
           "You're worth so much more than that. Your husband should value that."
           "You could go back to work. Unless your husband won't let you."     
           "You're failing every women who has ever worked for equality."
This isn't even all the things that I've heard about being a stay at home parent. This isn't even the worst of them! These are things that have been said straight to my face. The things that have been said over the internet are far worse. 
  There are so many misconceptions that come with being a stay at home parent, and a lot of them revolve around feminism, or what people think is feminism. I want to clear these up, because I am damn tired of being told I'm less of a woman for staying home with my child. 
1. No one forced me to be married. My Dad didn't trade my "hand" for a prized freakin' heifer. (Although, there was this one time in South Dakota at a gas station by the Corn Palace- where a stranger offered a pig for me. He might have considered it, I'm not sure.) I'm really happy to be married to a man that lifts me up everyday.
2. No one forced me to have babies. I am not a machine for producing children. Now, was my delicate bundle of sass a surprise? Yes, he was. BUT NO ONE FORCED ME TO HAVE A CHILD. 
3. I was not forced to quit my job, or leave my dreams behind. If anything having a child, and staying home has pushed me closer to my dream of being a published author. I have to go about things differently, but my drive to succeed is no different than it was. I have goals, I will meet those goals, and I will do it while raising a small human. 
4. I AM NOT SETTING WOMEN'S RIGHTS BACK BY BEING A MOM, WIFE, OR STAY AT HOME PARENT. Being a Mom is so empowering for me. My body made a person, and then shoved that person out. Of course I am going to want to be with this person! Yes, I do miss working sometimes. There are days where I question every life choice I've ever made, but I LOVE what I do? Why isn't that enough for some people. 

 Feminism should be about equality, and empowering women. If no one is getting hurt, or being forced into a life they don't want then why are we degrading others? Why does it matter if I make my husband pies, and raise my baby from home? I admire working parents so much, so why do they belittle those who stay home? Why do we assume that women are forced into these things? Why do you assume that our husbands don't value us? WHY. So many why questions, and I never seem to get an answer other then "Well you should know what you are doing wrong." 
  So "modern feminism" you have absolutely failed the stay at home parent. Let's fix that. To all my true feminists, you keep on doing your thing. No matter what you do, you are valued. 

drop mic. 

1 comment:

  1. Yes... to all of this. I did the same. It's a choice to stay home, and to be a "traditional" wife. I take pride in the fact that I raised my children.. and they are awesome adults! I'd like to think I rubbed off a little on you. There is nothing wrong with following your very own path. Love you girl!
    Cara

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S is a snarky Mom, with a lot to say. This blog covers every thing from an abundant amount of vomit, to things that are just too sticky. You'll find recipes, laughs, and honesty. With a toddler, a dog, and a really patient husband this Mama can accomplish things.