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Monday, November 30, 2015

Christmas Tree eating... I mean decorating.



     Christmas season is here, and I couldn't be happier! A few posts ago I explained my ridiculous love for the Christmas season. The magic of it all just makes me tear up a bit, I know... I do indeed have a problem. Decorating the christmas tree is probably the best part. I love placing all the beautiful ornaments in exactly the perfect spots. I went to do the same this year and realized a few things.
 Glass Ornaments are a REALLY poor idea. So I went against all that my holiday self stands for, and bought plastic filler ornaments.... Ugh. Luckily you can't really tell from far away but I still know. I filled the tree with the usual fair of special ornaments, and then the plastic fillers. (Every time I type that my heart hurts a little bit more) It was perfect. Everything had it's place. I was satisfied and ready to begin the rest of the house... Then it happened... Tater came roaring over like Godzilla. His tiny, yet so large hands smacked the white, glittery ornament from the tree. He let out a laugh that pierced my Christmas spirit with the intensity of 1000 reindeer.
  I told him no, removed the ornament from his meat hooks, and placed it in it's correct spot on the tree. B redirected him to crawl toward the couch. He fell for the distraction for half a second before he came to reign more terror on my tree. This time he went for the red striped ball... He smacked it down so hard that it bounced, and then hit him in the forehead. His chunky hands grabbed it and shoved it right into his mouth... I said no, replaced the ornament and went on with the tinsel.... To save time let's just say this happened about 25 more times before I finally lost it. I removed all the decorations from the bottom of the tree. My OCD (obsessive christmas disorder) actually hurt as I stared at the bare bottom of my once full tree.  So if you have a little human save yourself some time and just leave the bottom of your tree bare.

  Tinsel that shreds is also a really bad choice. I LOVE how shiny tinsel is, and apparently so do babies.... God forbid you leave the damn tinsel on the ground for 30 seconds, it will be shredded. Do you know how hard it is to vacuum up tinsel? No? It's really damn hard. So really if you have an almost toddler, or a real toddler You should just skip the tree, and shiny things. It's just going to become a disaster.
Good luck decorating for the holidays all my interwebs friends!

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S is a snarky Mom, with a lot to say. This blog covers every thing from an abundant amount of vomit, to things that are just too sticky. You'll find recipes, laughs, and honesty. With a toddler, a dog, and a really patient husband this Mama can accomplish things.