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Monday, September 14, 2015

You're Fine

  In the very limited time that I get to leave my house I do two things. 1) I talk to literally everyone that has a baby, or is pregnant. I send them to my blog, because I'm selfish. Plus I think I'm hilarious. And, 2) I people watch. Human beings are seriously the greatest entertainment to ever exist. There are some strange people in this world, and they say some crazy things. You are probably thinking "Oh my god does she really listen to what people are saying in public? That's creepy." Don't lie to yourself, you all do it too. We are all naturally nosey. Why do you think there is always a back up on the other side of the road near an accident? Yeah... It's because we are nosey. Embrace it.
  Before becoming a Mom I usually just looked for weird things happening. This one time I was driving home from work, and this lady was driving with her feet, well she applied eyeliner... I don't really count that as people watching, but it still blows my mind that people like that exist. Anyways... I really didn't care about kids. They always say funny things when in public, and the parent gets all embarrassed. This one time in Target a Mom and her son were walking through the shoe department in Target, and the Mom says;
 "You can't wear sandals to school, you have to wear your sneakers"
The little boy fired back with :
"That is NOT happening, I'm too tired for you." 
The Mom looked taken back, and she says:
"Jeremy, where did that come from!"
 He tilted his head to the side with a little attitude, and said "You say it to Dad every night, so it obviously works." 
 Being the "shy" person that I am, I started cracking up. This woman was so embarrassed that she left her cart, and walked out of the store. 
 Okay, back to my point. I knew kids were funny, so I didn't really care for what they did/said 90% of the time. Now that I'm a Mom, I'm super nosy with other Mom's. I'm not direct about it, but I do the occasional side eye when there is that Mom letting her kid run around without shoes on, well she's on the phone. I ease drop on the conversations people have with their kids, and their spouses. 
  I've heard some pretty great things in the Diaper Section, not going to lie. In my nosiness and observations as a professional people watcher, I've realized that there is one phrase that parents use more than any other... It isn't what I expected it to be what it is either... As a kid I was CONVINCED that all parents said the word 'No' more than anything else.
  It was like an automatic response... Hey Dad, Can I.... "No." okay cool... good talk. I thought that they couldn't say anything else. Now that I'm older I'm pretty sure I remember them saying no so much because you hold on to that bitterness. It's like we will forever remember not being allowed to go to Jenny's sleepover. I still remember that no. 
  I keep getting distracted... I think I've had too much coffee today... But back to my point... As parents we say the words "You are fine" more than anything else. Whether it's over a meltdown for a toy, or a face plant in isle 5... It's like we can't control it. "You're fine" spills out of our mouth like corndog vomit on a roller coaster. Sometimes we don't even stop what we are doing to see why you're freaking out. It just happens almost like the automatic response I thought 'no' was. 
  Watching and hearing all these parents say it really started to mess with me... Did I do that? I seriously counted how many times a day I saw "you're fine" and it was pretty disturbing... Not only was I saying it to Tater, but also to my husband, my best friend and even my dogs. I could have sworn I said 'Shit' more than anything else. What's funny is I never remember my parents saying it... Probably because I didn't have enough memory left, for holding on to all the times I heard 'no'.
  While typing this I realized that I don't actually have a point today. I think I was just excited to tell you all my "scientific" discovery. 
  So now that you all know that I'm a creep, and that parents use the words "you're fine" more than anything, go apologize to your parents for thinking their only word was 'no'.

On a non-blog related note! We will be moving our Tshirt shop to Threadless this fall! So lookout for that and some new designs! I have about 50 new designs just for all you lovely people! I hope you have a wonderful Monday!
-S

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S is a snarky Mom, with a lot to say. This blog covers every thing from an abundant amount of vomit, to things that are just too sticky. You'll find recipes, laughs, and honesty. With a toddler, a dog, and a really patient husband this Mama can accomplish things.