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Thursday, August 20, 2015

'Eh'

 Right before you have a baby you try to make sure you know EVERYTHING. Literally every safety concern, parenting style, tip, and way to breath. You are so worried about this tiny little human, that you try to do everything to make him safe. You are firm on all these rules that you have read or set in place.
  Then the baby comes and every cough, sneeze, or new noise is a logical reason to panic. You are constantly checking on them at night to make sure they're breathing. You literally are washing your hands after every breathe you take, and once you are done washing them you use sanitizer. You disinfect the visitors that come to your home. You death glare the strangers at the store who try and touch the adorable feet of your sweet new baby. You see them with their dirty finger nails... NOTHING gets past you. You don't let them chew on things, or lick their hands. The life of this little human has become your constant worry. You become so good at being a worry wart, that you could do it professionally. 
  Around 3 months (well for me anyways) I started to worry a bit less. I wasn't checking if he was breathing in his crib every twenty minutes. and I stopped swiffering my floor 400 times a day. I let him sit in his high chair, and chew on his hand. I even gave him a toy that he could slobber all over. "There is nothing better then baby drool"- No one, ever.
  I call this moment the first 'Eh'. Now let me explain; As you learn who you are as a parent, you tend to become a bit more relaxed in your routine. Now instead of freaking out over your kid having a fist in his mouth, you simply go Eh. it won't hurt him.
           My 3 month 'Eh' included things like this:
  • Not checking on him every 30 minutes at night
  • Letting him eat his hands, his toys, and his feet
  • I stopped calling the pediatrician every week
  • I let him cry for longer than 30 seconds at a time

   Four months old hit us, and we began solids.  I skipped rice cereal because it's garbage and started with avocado. I was TERRIFIED that anytime I fed my kid he was going to have an allergic reaction. Trying new foods was exciting and horrifying. I was also worried about choking. I was so worried in fact, that I hand pealed all the peas before I pureed them. You don't know love until you've spent an hour pureeing peas, that your kid wore more of then he ate. I wouldn't let him feed himself. I had to do it. Then again it happened, I hit the '6 Month Eh'. I was no longer panicking over nothing, and I was beginning to enjoy feeding my kiddo real food.
I chopped up pieces of banana really small and let him feed himself. The dogs tend to get more than he actually does, but it stimulates him plus I actually get to eat!
  I don't think saying 'Eh' about certain things is not about neglecting your kid. It's about accepting that not everything is going to be the imminent death of them. Letting them feed themselves more than likely won't kill them, you just need to watch them. I think the biggest thing about becoming more relaxed is feeling more confident in yourself. I know that I feel better about being a Mom, now that I'm not worrying about EVERYTHING.
  The constant worry is so normal, it really is. However it is nice being able to relax on certain things. It's important not to feel guilty when you hit the 'Eh' stage. 

  So enjoy the relaxation. You aren't a bad parent. Sometimes you just have to say 'Eh, he's fine.' 

It is also important to understand that if you are Eh about EVERYTHING you really should seek help. It's been my goal to raise awareness about post partum depression. I still struggle, and when I tell people I have some often have this reaction of pity. Yes it sucks, but it's that mentality that makes people not want to get help.


I hope you enjoyed your Thursday.
-S

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S is a snarky Mom, with a lot to say. This blog covers every thing from an abundant amount of vomit, to things that are just too sticky. You'll find recipes, laughs, and honesty. With a toddler, a dog, and a really patient husband this Mama can accomplish things.