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Monday, June 1, 2015

Monday is for Crying

   Monday... We meet again. I know I'm not alone when I say Monday's suck. Even though I'm a stay at home Mom, Monday's still seem to be the shittiest of week days. It's like Tater knows that it's the start of the week, so he wakes up extra early, and extra grumpy. This morning 4:50 a.m. rolled around and he decided that it was time to scream for absolutely no reason. Then at 6 a.m. he sounded like no one had fed him in weeks. So I'm tired and a lot of crusty this fine Monday morning. I hope that where ever you all are, that there is a ton of coffee, and maybe a donut to help start this week off right.

 Today I want to talk about a little monster that we dealt with right at the 4 month mark. I was silly and thought that maybe just maybe it would skip me. I'm talking about the loathed 4 Month Sleep Regression...
                
   
If you are like many of the people I deal with who haven't picked up a single parenting book, 4 Month Sleep Regression is hell. It's when our little babies who once slept soundly though the night are back to the newborn stage of sleeping where they wake up every few hours. Seriously it's everything we hated about the newborn stage all over again... This is the pits. Like seriously who the hell just stops sleeping?! Child don't you know sleep is good for you? But let's talk about what it really is, and how you can handle it.
  Sleep regression started the day after he turned 4 months. This all happens because around that time you hit what the 'Wonder Weeks' app calls a Leap. Basically this is a development growth spurt. As your babies brain is changing, it changes their sleep cycles. They can switch from heavy, to light sleep in a matter of seconds, or they just don't sleep at all. Well they are mentally developing, chances are they are also physically growing too. So not only do you get an over tired, super hungry baby- but you also get to deal with them screaming from growing pains. Oh how fun is having a 4 month old?!  
   If you are anything like me, at this stage you are one crying fit from having a total break down yourself. The thing is, it may or may not just go away on it's own but until it does here is how to cope. (besides hiding in the garage with a bottle of rum)
  •    Do your normal bedtime routine, whether you rock them, or nurse, or blast Metallica, it doesn't matter. Keep trying to be as consistent as possible. If your kiddo normally goes down at 8:30, keep that up! 
  • Do a final feeding before their normal bedtime, and then offer a Dream Feed! (If you don't know what a dream feed is, it's feeding the baby well they are still asleep) Tater goes down at 9:30p.m. so at 9 he would have a bottle, and then at midnight if he hadn't woken up yet, I'd carefully take him out of bed, feed him, and set him back in his crib. He didn't usually wake up until 4 or 5 in the morning if I did that.
  • Swaddle sacks are your friend. Tater has always loved the Swaddle. We got him a sack where his arms can be out, but the rest of him is wrapped up all snuggly warm. Also if you know there is no way your kid is hungry, offer a pacifier. I know some people are all "Pacifier is Satan" but if its between a pacifier and sleep, I would take sleep. 
  • Ask for help. Again this is just like the newborn stage. If you need to take a nap, and have someone watch the baby than so be it! Asking for help doesn't mean your weak... We've been over this. Swallow that damn pride pill honey!
  • If all else fails, and you just NEED a nap, I set Tater in the bouncer, and turned on a baby video for him. Within minutes, he was silent and I was able to rest. I know that screen time is a no, but sometimes you need to do what you have to do to stay sane! 
  • Try random shit to make them happy. Tater instantly calmed down if I set his bouncer in the bathroom, and turned the shower on. It was like a small miracle. 
  I wouldn't wish sleep regression on anyone, EVER. These aren't fool proof ways to help it, but they were effective for me. Then one day I put my little man to bed and the next thing I know, it's 7a.m. and he's still asleep. There is hope, I promise. And if it doesn't end ever, just tell me and I'll come day drink in your bathroom with you.
                                    

 Not to burst any one's bubble, but there are sleep regression stages at 8 months, and 12 months.... Sorry to be that asshole guys...

  Another thing I want to talk about is the Wonder Weeks App, or book if you want to kick it old school. I normally don't believe in these things. (Like I am one skeptical mother fucker on pretty much every 'Magic Parenting Secret'.) This Program? I think that's the word I want to use- is pretty damn magical. I bought the App for $1.99 from the App Store, and everything it has said is spot on. The Wonder Weeks is a map of 'Leaps' or mental developments for us normal folks. You enter in your child's due date (NOT THE DATE THEY WERE ACTUALLY BORN) and it gives a chart on what to expect. At the four month mark, the chart showed me a storm cloud to show how long he was going to be a grouch. It was absolutely spot on. It's a little Hipster of me to be so into this App, but I find myself recommending it to everyone I can. Best 2 dollars I have spent in a long time. You can read more about their methods on their website HERE, or just buy the damn app. It's on Google Play and The Itunes App Store.

I'm sorry my first real post back wasn't as full of Nonsense as my usual posts are, but I figured I'd get real first, and then head back to the fun tomorrow. It feels nice being back.
I hope you all enjoy this first day of June!

Stay Sassy
-S

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S is a snarky Mom, with a lot to say. This blog covers every thing from an abundant amount of vomit, to things that are just too sticky. You'll find recipes, laughs, and honesty. With a toddler, a dog, and a really patient husband this Mama can accomplish things.