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Sunday, March 1, 2015

World War III, DIAPER EDITION

I knew it was coming... I knew that all of my Mommy friends had already experienced it... That didn't make it any less disgusting....
I'm talking about our very first blow out diaper.... *inserting dramatic music* when Tater woke up this morning I could smell it the second I walked into his room... The scent was something similar to 50 rolls of molding, steamed cabbage and an old man fart.  I mentally prepared myself for what I was about to see... NOTHING could prepare me for this monster. 
   I'm talking poop everywhere... It was on the inside of his onesie, up his back, and down his thighs. The color was a nasty shade of "Oh fuck this shit" green. After 11 (yes 11, you read that correctly) baby wipes, four times of me almost hurling into the Diaper Pail, and one heavy ass diaper, we finally had a clean baby. 
   He smiled at me when I put his new diaper on, because I'm sure he didn't like the way he smelled either. I kissed his belly, and told him how loved he was. At that very moment he smiled, then let out the wettest, stinkiest fart I've ever heard, all well filling his diaper once again. I tagged out, and Daddy changed it. 

My name is S, and I am a World War III diaper survivor. 





Thanks for reading! If you like what I have to say, let me know!
Stay clean
-S

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S is a snarky Mom, with a lot to say. This blog covers every thing from an abundant amount of vomit, to things that are just too sticky. You'll find recipes, laughs, and honesty. With a toddler, a dog, and a really patient husband this Mama can accomplish things.